Confusion.............

Confusion…Confusion…Confusion….I wish I am crystal clear sometimes…But that’s not easy isn’t it? I really salute people who are able to take clear decisions in life, all the time.
Judgement, Ability to make compromises, Ability to prioritize, Ability to Focus…If I have all these right now, I will feel like a COMPLETE man.
For past few days, I am getting interested in HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY. It’s absolutely wonderful to observe people, mannerisms, draw patterns from their behaviours and guess their responses, etc., See didn’t I know that I am a person who develops new interests every second?? Hmmm…

I often wonder what action of people irritates me most. Sometimes I think it is dishonesty or double standards. It's true that dishonesty troubles me, but it does not irritate. I just turn away from the person in question. The one thing I cannot stand is fickle mindedness on events that concern me in any way -- not sticking to appointments with me, not doing things that one has committed to, rapidly changing decisions etc. Such events irritate me to the bone. I get restless, confused and just want to ignore the person doing this forever. This behavior stems mostly from the fact that I prefer organization and careful planning, and it really disturbs my plans (or so I perceive) if another person changes his/her plans when I am involved. Sometimes I build hopes or make future plans based on another person's word. And when they get shattered due to some reason I perceive as ridiculous, it is quite an unpleasant feeling. What's really bad is that this sometimes makes me anxious and suspicious of the other person's motives and I fear being taken for a ride. I am trying to learn to cope, but results have been few. That's mostly because I have never had to adjust to such people in the long run. The only people with whom I have had to coordinate plans have been either very organized, known me very well or too far to cause concern.